I Choose Me

There are moments that define us. Choices we make and have made that continue to impact our lives for years to come. We chose at 18 to go to college or not, what career path to walk down or not, and sometimes we chose well and sometimes we chose poorly in terms of our life path.

As I look at my life, it seems that many times the choices I have made were not made with my own best interests in mind, I chose based on the expectations, the desires, and the input of others - sometimes those choices worked out in the end, and sometimes there is regret.

I have come to a point in my life where I have decided to make an active effort to say to myself "I choose me." I am going to take this time to put myself first, to decide that my wants are the most important, that my needs should be the ones met first, and that the desires I have are the ones that shall be fulfilled (to the best of my ability).

I have decided to rise up like the phoenix from the ashes of who I have been to turn into the person I want to be. All in all the last year has been devoted to making changes. I cut unhealthy relationships from my life, I undertook challenges that others said would be impossible, and I looked at my life to determine what I wanted to tackle next, what has been left undone, what do I want to do next. Certainly there are goals I cannot meet on my own (although a wedding featuring JUST me could be interesting), but there are others I can do. I choose me. I choose to put me first. I choose to meet my own needs before I meet those of others.

Perhaps I am being selfish in my decision. I don't know. I do know that choosing to let me take 2nd or 3rd or 4th place has not worked. The happiness I deserve is out there, I know it. I think I just need to seize the day to find it. So I choose me. I choose my happiness. I choose to make the changes necessary to do what I want to do and be who I want to be. If that makes me selfish, so be it. But I still choose me. I said I want to be Queen of the Universe someday, I'm just going to start acting like it's already happened. So you can call me "your royal highness may I kiss your feet" and know that I just chose me.